First, an excerpt from the linked to story:

They cold called me. Mind you, this was back when (last week) I thought that they were a legitimate organization. It went something like this:

The “Guy” called and said that he was from the Better Business Bureau. …

He asked questions that were already answered on the county DBA filing, so I answered diligently, thinking that he was probably checking up on me to verify if I had been honest on the DBA application. He finished his simple questions (e.g., do you have employees? How long have you been in business? What is the nature of the business?), and told me:

It costs $465 a year and that will carry you through June 2006. We take credit cards or check by phone.

I was floored. The “Guy” cold-called me and thought that I’d start doling out credit card numbers? Insane. I asked him, “Excuse me, you can’t bill?” He answered, “We do credit cards or check by phone.” Wary of phishing schemes, I told him that I had no way to know that he was who he claimed to be and that he would have to give me his information and I would call back if I was interested.

I’ve also had this conversation with the BBB – they’ve contacted me twice about membership, once when I was still running my last company and now again with my newest endeavor. Each experience was remarkably similar.

Each time, they called me out of the blue and said “Congratulations, you have been nominated for membership in the BBB! We only extend memberships to select organizations, and yours meets the criteria!”

“Wonderful,” I said. The rep then launched into her speil about how great membership is, how well-respected the BBB name is, etc. She outlined all of benefits I would receive upon membership, including a listing on their website, “mediation services,” and a shiny new sticker I could stick on my door. She told me that “many consumers only do business with BBB member companies, so it’s a smart move to join.”

In my many years of entrepreneurship, not once have I had a prospective client or customer ask if I was a BBB member. I told her this, and she said, “Then you’re leaving money on the table! Millions of people use the BBB as a directory to find businesses to work with!”

Really? Millions? Seems high to me. I’m a pretty savvy consumer, and I have never used the BBB to find anyone or anything. Neither has anyone I know of. The only time I hear anyone mention the BBB is when they’re pissed off at some big company, leading them to then threaten “filing a complaint with the Better Business Bureau.” (Which they almost never do.)

I asked about the “mediation services” they provide, and she told me that as a BBB member, I would have to agree to let their mediators settle disputes with my customers. Now, I’ve never had a problem settling disputes with my customers. First, they rarely arise – I do honest work and bend over backwards to make my customers happy. Second, on the rare occasions that disputes have arisen, I’ve had no problem settling those disputes on my own. In my experience, most disputes are the result of bad communication. I always take full responsibility and work to make the customer whole.

I asked her to mail a copy of all of the materials, you know, so I’d know what I was agreeing to, and she said, “That’ll all be included in your membership packet, I just need your credit card number so I can charge you the $500 membership fee and get you set up.”

Wow, $500? (I forget the exact number. It was about $500.)

“Can’t you send it out so I can look it over first?,” I asked. “No. We don’t send out informational packets. We are an invite-only organization.”

“Right, and you’re inviting me now. I just want to see something in writing so I can make a decision. So just send the invitation along in the mail and I’ll have a look.”

Which led her to ask, “You’re not really serious about joining, are you? If I send that out, you’ll probably just throw it away anyway. That’s why we like to do it all over the phone.”

“Can I do it online? Are your materials there?”

“No. It’s invitation only. We can’t just let people sign up online! It sounds to me like you’re not serious about your customers…”

I was floored. Here’s an organization that claims to preach good business practices refusing to provide me with any written materials. No contract, no written terms, nothing. And when I insisted that they put it all down in writing, telling them I don’t give my credit card number out to cold-callers, they accused me of being a shady businessman.

Shady is cold calling people and asking for $500. Shady is refusing to provide written materials about membership. Shady is spewing misleading facts about how joining will cause my customer base to explode.

I started to tell her that I thought her practices were shady, for the above-mentioned reasons, and she cut me off, saying “So I guess you are not interested in joining today. Good bye.”

I advise everyone I know against buying from telemarketers. And that’s what the BBB looks like to me – a telemarketing shake-down scheme preying on the naivety of new business owners. They’re no better than the “Yellow Pages Listing Service” mailings that flood every new business owner.

I’d like to think that the BBB is more than just an expensive sticker-selling operation, but my own experience tells me otherwise.

Small business owners, beware the Better Business Bureau.

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“Social” sites always lead to this sort of thing – a small group of people control the content that everyone else sees. Ain’t democracy grand?

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So I call the 1-800-WWW-DELL number to find out what the heck is going on. Now, I’ve been frustrated by automated voice operated phone trees before, but I have to say, Dell’s has to be one of the worst I’ve ever come across. The obnoxious “lady” on the other end misunderstood almost everything I said, and after 10 minutes of trying to get to a person I was finally put on hold for another 15 while they tried to find someone to take my call. The person who finally answered informed me that “Ok sir, it looks like that order has been cancelled.” Thanks, extremely helpful person from India. Here I am 30 minutes into this experience and you told me exactly what I already know.

“Let me see if I can find out why…. (CLICK!”

That’s right, cut off, right there. So I call back, repeat the process, and am cut off again after waiting for 20 minutes. No, I’m not kidding.

I track down a different number for dell order support, 1(800) 915-3355, option 1, ext. 7243784, and am told (again, quite helpfully) that the number will soon be disconnected, and that I should instead call 1(800) 247-2076.

So I do that. 10 minutes into being on hold there and “CLICK” cut off again.

You think I’m making all of this up, don’t you? I’m not. Frustrated by the phone systems, I go to try online support. “Sorry, all online representatives are busy.” What? Don’t you people have a queue?

OK – back to the phone support. I FINALLY get a fellow who I have a lot of trouble understanding. He tells me that “someone in Round Rock, Texas canceled the order. You will have to ask that person why.” Are you serious? I tell him to just reinstate the order, and he tells me that he can’t – the system won’t let him. So he advises me to call a “special” number – 1(800) 915 3355, extension 7428652. He assures me that the person there will be able to place my order. I call the number, type in the extension, and guess what — “This number has been disconnected…. Please call (wait for it) the main dell number, 800 999 3355.

Right. Back. Where. I. Started.

So here we are, over 2 hours later, and me still with no clue why my orders have been canceled.

Just a bad day for Dell? Maybe. Perhaps. It certainly ruined by day. And accomplished another goal as well — I am done with Dell. Not that they’ll miss my business – even though I spent about $50k with them last year, I’m by no means a large customer of theirs.

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That’s right, the 10 ft x 20 ft $25-dollar-per-square-foot place that you’ve got your eye on is $5,000 per year, not per month. The monthly cost is a low $416 – a figure well within the budget of most startup companies.

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